By: Danny Wallace
When counseling people who are at odds with one another, Dr. Phil McGraw often asks the qualifying question, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to fix it?”
This is a question that all counselors should ask before going one step further in offering help, or advice to those who are struggling with broken relationships. Healing comes to a relationship when we are willing to sacrifice being “right,” to be wrong for the sake of restoration. From the cross, Jesus willingly became “wrong” so that that the entire world could be set right with God, our Father. Jesus made this clear when He said, “I did not come to reject the world – I came to save the world.”
When we are determined to be “right” we have fallen into the trap of conditional love, which is actually, no love at all. It’s not that we don’t care for others, or that we are incapable of love. We simply choose to extend love to those of whom we approve. If they like us – we like them. If they say good things about us – we say good things about them. It is a no-brainer kind of love that any simpleton can extend while hand-cuffed and blindfolded.
When we fall into the trap of conditional love we quickly find ourselves at odds with many people. Conditional love will eventually lead to broken relationships with pretty much everyone we encounter. It is the reason marriages dissolve, friendships fall apart, and bitterness takes root in our hearts against others. Sooner or later, everyone will disappoint the person who lives under the banner of conditional love.
The unconditional love that Jesus has given to us is unlimited in healing and joy. Such love is mightier than any army, a greater force than the mightiest of hurricanes. It calms the raging storms of our life.
It is a love without religious denomination, political party, or social standing. It does not recognize race, creed, or religious belief. It loves the believer, as well as the atheist. It willingly dines with sinners, and blesses its enemies, knowing full well that the cross has placed all people on equal footing with God.
Unconditional love is an honor to receive, and an even greater honor to give. This great gift of unconditional love frees the person who receives it, and even more so, the person who steps into the joy of giving it to all people.
The gift of unconditional love never cares about being right. Unconditional love doesn't mind being wrong even when it knows that it is right. Unconditional love is “honorable love.” Anything less is one more trumpet, in the orchestra of one more show.